her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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