Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
