she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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