Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
