Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You smell like stripper and shame
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
