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What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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