I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
