Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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