we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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