so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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