how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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