You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
