he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
