please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
