"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
