Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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