he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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