I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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