I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Barsexuality is the new black.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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