there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
