I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
