I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
