I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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