you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
