I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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