I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
