i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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