She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
