flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
