I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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