What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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