have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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