Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
