also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
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