is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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