Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
