they need to just BURY HIM!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
