So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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