we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
