So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
