Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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