I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
is it fun? or sober?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
