i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The beer is more important than you right now.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We are two peas in an std pod
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
