it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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