nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
