I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
