Christians are straight up FREAKS
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
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