Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
