if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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