I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Someone came in the potted fern
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
