I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
