Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
